Stay or Go? The Job You Hate, But Are "Lucky" To Have
The once gainfully employed are dropping like flies. New grads are filled mostly with debt and doubt–wondering why they’re grads at all with so few opportunities.
But you have a job. It’s a damn good one, too…or so everyone tells you. Every time you mention that you might want to do something else, people say ”you should feel lucky. Stop whining.” Maybe you really are lucky. Does that mean you have to stay at your job until popular consensus tells you it’s okay to quit?
If I Go There Will Be Trouble…
For my first job out of college, I snuck in the back door at Accenture. I got to fly on the company’s dime anywhere I wanted to go every other weekend. I got an apartment, a rental car and a pretty decent salary for a joker like me who left school armed only with a B.A. in psychology and an ego 2-3 times as big as my talent warranted. (I know all of this because my parents and friends made it a point to remind me.)
To leave would have meant giving up a job that others would have felt lucky to have at a time when hiring freezes were the norm. Plus there was that pesky rent, groceries and those inconvenient student loans .
If I Stay It Will Be Double…
But I hated what I was doing. Despite all the perks. Despite it truly being a great company to work for, it wasn’t what I wanted to do. After two years (how I never got canned for being a technology consultant who needed help opening his laptop on Day #1 of work–true story–still baffles me) my discontent started to show in my work. So I quit before I permanently burned bridges or misplaced my sanity.
So what should you do? Answer these 2 questions and it might give you an idea:
1. Is your current job truly out of sync with your realistically attainable career goals?
My goal was to be a published author. (Considering that I had no book idea and no connections to the publishing industry, you could say I defined “realistic” very loosely.) I knew my Accenture job wouldn’t get me there, but a few years down the road that experience did help me land a job at TalentSmart which was critical to achieving my goal. So I was glad that I left Accenture, but also glad that I spent two years there first.
So, is your current job supporting or hindering your goal?
2. Will you be more stressed staying at your job than leaving it?
After leaving, I had no income for a couple of months and things were very tight before taking another job that also wouldn’t get me to my goal. I ended up spending a good chunk of time clocking in as a barista before going back to school, and finally getting that helpful job.
I never regretted leaving. Even when things were tight, I still relished the freedom that came from calling my own shots…even if they were espresso shots. Most people I know would have been in deep despair about leaving a promising job only to wind up foaming lattes (again, I know this b/c they subtly and not-so-subtly told me so). If you’re the kind that would be too stressed to enjoy your freedom, or too uncomfortable facing friends and family when your plans fall through and you no longer have a respectable answer to the question “what do you do?” then you might want to stay at your job for a while longer.
If you answered “yes” to both of the above questions then your alleged “luck” might have run out, and it could be time to go.
Hey Nick -
Great post! I did the same out of college: took a shitty job I knew I would hate because the pay was high. Although I had an English degree to your Psychology degree. I woke-up unhappy everyday for 3.5 years. I owned a condo with Billy G and he bought me out when he got married. That’s all I needed to quit. It’s been 3 years since I left and my life has turned completely around. I wake-up with a smile on my face everyday and have an actual “cool” job that people like to hear about. Keep up the good writing and I hope all is well in the land of 10,000 lakes.
Best,
Putt
Nick – great post! I think the problem for many people is that they can’t answer either question. #1 is hard for many people to answer because they have never thought about their career goals. #2 is hard because people hate change and always imagine it will be harder than it actually is. So in many cases people just stay with what they know rather than take the risk (and perceived stress) of making a change.
I would be curious to see a post about how to deal with those particular impulses.
Dave
@Pat Thanks, Putt. I feel your past pain and can only imagine how much happier you are now slinging your funnies to Second City audiences. It’s a pretty impressive accomplishment.
@Dave You’re exactly right, Dave. In fact, my research shows that 75% of people ar likely to see question #2 exactly as you pointed out–scared to venture into the unknown. Knowing what I know about the psychology behind it, I can’t in good conscience recommend that they jump anyway. Some are probably irrationally frightened. But if that irrationality translates to real anxiety once they get out on their own and find that they can’t sleep at night, well…I don’t want to be responsible for their nervous breakdown!
On the other hand, many people good benefit from a little nudging. But ultimately, they have to reach their own personal rock bottom before it makes sense to act. Otherwise they’ll constantly live in self-defeating state of regret. When they no longer have a good answer to “what do I have to lose” is probably the signal that it’s time to follow their restless impulse.