Is There Really a Narcissism Epidemic?
Psychologists Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell think so. They are so convinced that they wrote a whole book about it.
But not everyone agrees. Richard Robins, director of the Personality, Self, and Emotion laboratory at the University of California, Davis is one of those dissenters. Robins told me that solid evidence for the alleged “epidemic” pretty much disappears when Twenge’s and Campbell’s data are analyzed properly. Based on his team’s research, Robins concludes “this current [younger] generation does have inflated egos, but” he says “so did every other generation of youth…There are writings on cave walls from thousands of years ago saying, more or less, that today’s youth do whatever they want, don’t listen to their elders, think they know everything, etc.”
In other words, if there really is a sickness infecting the younger generations it would probably be more accurate to call it the “youthfulness epidemic.” And nothing short of mass infanticide is going to kill that bug.
The bigger problem is that most researchers are finding no increase—and sometimes even a slight decrease—in self esteem in the younger generations. So Twenge might be onto something when she suggests we “ditch the self-esteem movement.” Not because it’s reached overkill mode, but because it just ain’t working. A big reason why is the misunderstanding that unconditional praise boosts self esteem.
Psychologist Deborah Stipek, now the Dean of Stanford’s School of Education has pointed out that criticism, and not just praise, plays a key role in boosting the kind of self-esteem we need to perform well and to stick it out when faced with a challenge. Her logic is simple: when a manager tells you “good job” on that half-baked report you tried to pass off as finished, or in that client meeting you were ridiculously unprepared for, you have to conclude that this manager thinks you’re pretty much a clown. Even as a little kid when I doggy-paddled my way to an eighth place ribbon out of eight swimmers in the breaststroke, it was clear to me that Mark Spitz I was not. People telling me “great job” just made me feel pathetic.
It turns out that one of the best ways to bruise a youthful ego is to praise it for poor effort. The lesson for managers is to dust off that copy of the One Minute Manager and brush up on the art of constructive criticism. And if you’re on the receiving end of that critique, take it as a compliment. After all, wouldn’t you rather be told that you’re capable of earning a first place ribbon, instead of being served an eighth place ribbon with a heaping side of pity?
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